


The Pit of Man's Fear and the Summit of his Knowledge

by The_Carnivorous_Muffin



Series: Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus [49]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Female Harry Potter, Horror, Master of Death Harry Potter, Mystery, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 15:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15776916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Carnivorous_Muffin/pseuds/The_Carnivorous_Muffin
Summary: Once, perhaps, Rabbit ate Scotland.





	The Pit of Man's Fear and the Summit of his Knowledge

It was as if… As if Lily, for a moment, blinked, and then everything was gone. Or, perhaps more accurately, it was like she’d been hit on the head by something, passed out or else was killed at some point while fighting a giant snake in Hogwarts basement, and when she came back Hogwarts… didn’t.

 

“Hello?” Lily asked, stepping forward and creating a bright star in her hand to light her path, however, even as the light cast shadows on her own skin, it did nothing to illuminate a path forward or backward, as if the place she was in wasn’t merely dark but was in fact empty of anything.

 

A feeling of dread began to course through her as she began walking forward, or at least, tried to, but there was no ground beneath her feet (though she was somehow standing upright) and no true surroundings, so even while she felt as if she should be moving she also felt as if she was somehow walking in place.

 

“Hello?” Lily called out, trying her best to remember exactly where she’d been and who had been with her recently, “Tequila, are you still hanging around?”

 

She thought Tequila had shown up, at least, for some of it, but she must have hit her head much harder than she thought or something because it was all very unclear. Either way, Tequila didn’t answer.

 

“Lenin? Are you out here?” Lily called out, “Look, I’m sorry about the giant snake thing but you have to admit it’s been getting out of hand and that something…”

 

There was no response, only silence, and the utter certainty that Wizard Lenin in any form, Lenin Rabbitson or otherwise, wasn’t here. No, anyone she called out to wouldn’t answer, because no one was here, only Lily.

 

It was as if, while she wasn’t looking, reality had completely forgotten itself.

 

“Or perhaps, it’s you who has forgotten the true shape of reality.”

 

Or, perhaps, there was a possibility she had completely overlooked. Lily turned her head, and standing next to her, smiling his polite empty facsimile of a human smile, was none other than Rabbit almost glowing in the dark.

 

And somehow, though he was as eerie and inhuman as ever, rather than fear and desperation the emotion clawing itself through her was a sort of irritated exasperation and a feeling that they had always, somehow, been coming to this.

 

It really was just a matter of time.

 

“Are you kidding?” Lily asked but Rabbit, rather predictably, gave no response. Although, he seemed more… solid here, as if he was in his element in this place, the emptiness of his surroundings leant him a pseudo sentience which he never bothered with in the material world of Hogwarts.

 

“Rabbit, did you eat Scotland when I wasn’t looking?”

 

For a moment he said nothing, just looked her over, and it was as if he was… Well, truly looking her over, dissecting each piece of her and storing her in whatever he possessed as a memory.

 

He inclined his head, peered at her with those too dark eyes, then mused, “It is no small thing, to trifle with the memories of God, there are consequences.”

 

And that was… Unbelievably wordy for Rabbit, she didn’t know he was even capable of speaking that much in an entire sentence. Normally he was all about the ‘yes’ the ‘no’ or else a small humming note of agreement or disagreement. And while, when he did say more than one word, he was typically cryptic and creepy as all hell, that was a bit more… eloquent and philosophical than she would have expected from him.

 

Even if it made just as little sense as usual.

 

“…So, is that a yes, I ate Scotland or a no, Lily, reality just finally collapsed on itself?” Lily asked, but, apparently, Rabbit had used up his sentience quota for the day because he just offered her that polite, thin, empty smile again.

 

Lily’s head was hurting way too much for this bullshit. She rubbed a hand through her hair with a sigh, gritting her teeth and telling herself there was no use in getting upset, “Have you seen Lenin, anywhere, by any chance?”

 

The smile didn’t once falter, “No.”

 

Was it just Lily or did Rabbit sound delighted by that? Well, as delighted as Rabbit could sound by anything. However, trying to parse Rabbit’s feelings or lack thereof was something Lily really wasn’t feeling up to at the moment, so she decided to let it go.

 

“Well, do you have any idea where he and the rest of Hogwarts could have ended up?” Lily asked, and Rabbit was… Looking at her rather pointedly, as if Lily, of all people, should be the one answering this question.

 

“They are now a dream dreamt by no one,” Rabbit replied, and even though this made very little sense, Lily couldn’t help but… But feel as if she herself had been somehow accused, and more, that bitter cold fear creeping through her once again.

 

“…I’ll be honest, Rabbit, that wasn’t really the answer I was hoping for,” Lily said, willing the panic to subside, trying to think about this… Well, as rationally as she was able.

 

So, she had fought a giant snake, that was all good, but the world had ended, that was much less good. The world had ended, Hogwarts was gone, probably eaten by Rabbit and so she and Rabbit were all that was left, of anything, in this black hole.

 

Forever.

 

“Uh, Rabbit, is there something you didn’t eat, by any chance?” Lily asked but Rabbit gave no response just gave a softer, somehow more genuine though still far from human, smile. For a moment, Lily stared, felt her stomach dropped and then she was wrapping her arms around him and shoving her fists into his stomach.

 

“Regurgitate, dammit!” she cried out but although Rabbit, now quite stunned and doll like in her arms was becoming winded and was heaving, reality was dislodging from his swan like adolescent throat, “I am not spending eternity in a black hole!”

 

After about a minute of this though Lily was forced to give up, or rather, she realized that forcing Rabbit to vomit and sticking her fingers down his throat was not only not getting her anywhere but was also rather awkward.

 

With nothing left to do and a strange sort of emptiness she sat down and curled in on herself.

 

So, this was it, her and Rabbit, here, forever. Hogwarts, Wizard Lenin, maybe even Death himself, somewhere unreachable, or else, never having existed in the first place. She wondered, if she had shouted any louder, if they would have listened to her warnings.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered.

 

Rabbit sat down next to her, the sound of his Hogwarts Uniform wrinkling like a gunshot in the deathly silence, with her, he stared out into the abyss. Quietly, he said, “Reality is always so noisy, I had almost forgotten, what the true absence of sound was like.”

 

“Forgive me, Rabbit, but I prefer my noise,” Lily said and he smiled, or rather, his lips quirked upwards, the smile not quite reaching his pitch black eyes.

 

“I know,” Rabbit responded, “You always have, you have always dreamed of electric sheep, even before there were sheep to become electric.”

 

“…Thank you, I think,” Lily said, because she wasn’t quite sure if that was a compliment, or what that even meant, or what Rabbit was doing making references to… well… anything. She hadn’t thought he was aware of enough to do that.

 

“I never have,” Rabbit continued, much to Lily’s surprise, and there was… Almost emotion in this, the shadow of emotion, “I have never understood these worlds you build for yourself, their gears or their diverse surfaces, these games you have invented over the millennia. At best, I manage crude imitation.”

 

Her brow furrowed, and she realized, or thought she realized, that Rabbit was confessing to… being aware of his own lack of awareness? That didn’t sound right but on the other hand she wasn’t sure what else he could mean, “No, you do… An impressively accurate job, sometimes, Rabbit. Like, right now, you’re doing shockingly well.”

 

Someone might almost mistake him for a living being at the rate he was going, not that anyone in Hogwarts had ever seemed to believe that Rabbit wasn’t somehow a person, no matter how often Lily reminded them.

 

“We bleed together, in spaces such as these, it makes it easier to borrow these things you call words and thought,” Rabbit explained, or… tried to explain, but Lily wasn’t sure she liked the explanation.

 

She looked down at herself, and, to her horror she was covered not only in dirt and dried water from the pipes, but also in her own blood. She looked back up and paled, grinned sheepishly at Rabbit, “Right, well, I will try to… bleed less.”  


He smiled at her, a somehow slyer thing, one of her own expressions she realized, “It does not bother me, after all, we were once the same being.”

 

“…Rabbit, please tell me that wasn’t a sexual innuendo,” Lily herself was hardly an expert, but there was a blatantly obvious interpretation of those words that even she wouldn’t ignore, no matter how much she wished to.

 

Rabbit blinked for a moment, looked quite baffled, then burst out into laughter. Actual peals of laughter, a noise she hadn’t thought he was capable of, and was now wishing she’d never known he was capable of. Lily turned to stare out into the abyss again, which, while vertigo inducing, was somehow becoming more and more inviting.

 

“Perhaps, Lily, it was, although that’s such a human concept.”

 

Lily’s eyes widened, she stood abruptly and began walking, “That’s it, I’m leaving, good day, Rabbit!”

 

Rabbit stared after her for a moment, then stood, and easily with a grace that really should belong to him caught up, “But where will you go when there is nothing to go to or from?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Lily spat, before turning to him, flushing, “You do realize we’re both twelve, right?!”

 

“Twelve?” Rabbit asked, as if he didn’t quite parse the concept.

 

“Underaged, severely underaged, like, long before the horrors of puberty overtake us!” Lily clarified, raking a hand through her hair and stating, “Maybe this is a horrible horrible dream and I will wake up, yes, that would be nice.”

 

She could almost see it now, her, waking up in the Default common room, having breakfast, feeling sleep deprived as usual, napping through Defense Against the Dark Arts. Yes, what a world that would be.

 

“You were the one who chose to be twelve,” Rabbit pointed out, or tried to, since it wasn’t really a point, since no, Lily hadn’t chosen to be twelve, alright maybe she’d make Rabbit twelve, but if she thought a twelve-year-old boy expressing sexual interest in her was alarming it’d be horrific from a man Wizard Lenin’s age.

 

“That is not the point! Also, untrue, but still, not the point!” Lily said, “Besides, you aren’t even supposed to be capable of things like physical attraction.”

 

It actually made it ten times worse, especially since, well, Rabbit was probably the prettiest person she’d ever seen. Wizard Lenin was absurdly good-looking, but Rabbit bordered on, well, almost perfect. There was a symmetry to his face that you didn’t see in real life, only in marble statues, and the contrast with his dark eyes wasn’t displeasing to the eye.

 

Not that Lily enjoyed thinking about that kind of thing.

 

“Strange, I too have always defined myself by my incapability, but then, clearly, I have been capable of this much. Perhaps, Lily, we are not so divided as I had thought,” this seemed to please him for a moment at least, but his smile dripped from him and a stark and barren emptiness seemed to take its place, “But you are not satisfied with this. Will you create some other shining world, Lily?”

 

“What?” Lily asked but Rabbit didn’t even seem to be listening to her anymore, instead just staring off into the blackness.

 

“Or, perhaps, you will gather the fragments of this one, force it back together once again, never mind the flaws you know all too well exist inside of it,” he said, “I wonder if they realize just how much you love this world of yours.”

 

He didn’t wait for a response on her own end, instead, a bitter smile forming, “Yes, for you have always marveled at the heights of mankind’s imagination and the pit of his fears. And for that, you will ride the train to nowhere until the very end of the line… Luckily, for all my incapability, I am also incapable of impatience.”

 

“I have waited billions upon billions of years,” he whispered, “I can wait a while longer yet.”

 

And just like that, she blinked and there she was, in Hogwart’s basement once again, facing the corpse of an eyeless basilisk.

**Author's Note:**

> Someone asked for a Rabbit/Lily side fic where existence is a dream dreamt by no one and he can profess his undying creepy love. So we have this blip that Lily edited out of canon for the sheer creepy. Hooray!
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments, kudos, and bookmarks are greatly appreciated.


End file.
